This life, that life, and everything in between
by Not Just a Nerd
Summary: In which Leonard and Sara are another pair who reincarnate. Pre-series and canon compliant with Arrow/Flash. Captain Canary. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own LOT or any of the characters.**

* * *

The average human life is about a hundred years at most, and so the human brain is equipped to hold a hundred years worth of memories and knowledge. Even then, when the skin starts to wrinkle and the hair is graying, memories begin to fade around the edges.

Humans are not supposed to remember four thousand years worth of experience.

Then again, humans are not supposed to reincarnate either. Death should have been the end for him. But that meteor crash centuries ago keeps on bringing him back again and again, like a curse that doesn't let him rest. Every time, it's a new name, a new place, a whole new identity. During the lucky lives, he doesn't remember who he really is.

This isn't a lucky life, in more ways than one. This time he remembers his fate, and random bits and pieces from his past- some words of a language he once learned, some quote from a book he once read, some village where he once lived, some shirt he once owned.

And her. Most of his memories are painted with the pink of her lips and the hazel of her eyes. But he'd rather not think about her.

All that matters is the here and now. And here and now, he is Leonard Snart, robber of ATMs, an infamous criminal in Central City.

And he couldn't care less about her- the one true love of his first life, the woman with whom he always reincarnates, the woman he meets and falls in love with invariably in every life.

Well, this life is different. Leonard Snart believes in free will, not destiny, and he just isn't the type to indulge in romance or relationships. The only two people he gives a damn about now are his little sister Lisa and his partner Mick, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

Still, a four thousand year old bond is rather strong, and sometimes he spends a minute or two wondering who she is now, how she is, hoping she is happy and well and has had better luck at life than him.

The first time he sees her is during a job gone wrong at Star City. They are not killers, they live by a code, but the civilians do not know that, and one of them is particularly frightened.

It's her. Young, fragile, and blonde this time, but so very her.

He can see the look of pure panic on her face. And while he does not love her in this life, does not even know her, he cannot stand to see her in so much distress. It is enough to shake him so much that he loses his calmness and botches up the plan, and they end up in jail.

He doesn't see her again. He doesn't think she remembers him. That happens in some lives. Good for her, though. She can live her life without feeling like there's the weight of a curse on her shoulder. She can make her own choices, find her own way, and fall in love with someone less jaded than him.

Curiosity is a bitch, however. A little research reveals the name of the girl on the day of their arrest. Sara Lance. Her dad's a cop, her sister's an assistant district attorney. They are from two very different worlds. There is no way on earth that they can end up together this time.

Not that he wants them to, anyway.

He tries not to think about her too much. Tries and fails. His mind keeps drifting back to her, like a lost ship zeroing in on a homing beacon, and he knows he needs to see her again. There's a job in Star City, and while he assesses the location of their next target, he casually asks his source about her.

And he wishes he didn't, because, Sara Lance got into a boat with her sister's boyfriend, and the boat sank, and she's dead.

He doesn't even know her in this life, and yet he feels like a piece of him has been ripped away. She was so young when he saw her last- barely in college, just starting to live, to see the world. She did not deserve this.

But people rarely get what they deserve, and he knows that all too well. He and Lisa did not deserve an asshole father either, but life had other plans.

He visits her grave and lays down white lilies near her tombstone. She used to like white lilies in one of her past lives. He remembers slipping one in the tangles of her curls in some far away land on a long gone summer evening. The memory feels so alive, so warm, unlike the cold ground where her body is supposed to have been, had they found it.

That leaves him with a tiny, irrational hope that maybe by some miracle she survived, and it scares him, because Leonard Snart has never been a man to hope.

It's five years later, and there's another job in Star City. He dreads going back there, dreads remembering her, dreads _feeling_. Feeling is bad for him. He needs to be cold, for his own sake, and for Lisa's. He needs to keep a level head and fight through this cruel world, not pine for a woman he loved in another life.

This job gets botched too. But for a different reason. His research shows there's a vigilante in town. An arrow-wielding vigilante, to be more specific.

And further research reveals whispers of another one. A female assassin running across the city, killing when necessary.

He has to see her for himself, and when he does manage to get a glimpse, even through the mask and the wig, he _knows_ it's her, he knows she survived.

He feels truly happy for the first time in this life.

And he decides to do nothing about it. This is her second chance at life, and she can live it however she wants to. Near death was bad enough, he will not complicate things further for her. He leaves Star City, not willing to fight her, and decides to settle down in Central City for good.

It's a mistake, because she winds up dead. For real this time.

He knows they will both reincarnate again, but damn it, it's hard to go on knowing she isn't somewhere out there living her life. It hurts to lose her again, and it's hard not to feel like he should have been there for her.

It makes him grow colder. It lets him be cold enough to up his game, to acquire a cold gun, kill who he needs to, and give the Flash one hell of a hard time.

Also, it still leaves that void in his heart, one that he hides behind his sarcastic quips and can't fill with his long lonely hours of drinking at bars.

It's the what was and what could have been that keep him awake at nights.

And during his weakest moments, when he misses her so much that it physically hurts, a sharp stabbing pain at the left side of his chest, he wishes it was him six feet under instead of her. She deserved so much more.

He cannot believe his eyes when he wakes up on a rooftop after being kidnapped and sees her with him, in the flesh and alive. Miracles are abound everywhere.

He has a choice to make now. Walk away again, do nothing, like he has done so far.

Or join the team, stop Savage from taking over the world, and get to know her better.

Any man who has lived a length of time has regrets. But he is the type who learns from those mistakes instead of moping about it. And there is no way in hell that he will run away now.

It's a little terrifying.

But he finds out that, like in every life, she is his complement. He's the crook, she's the assassin. She makes him want to be a better person, to be a hero even. He reminds her of her humanity, keeps her grounded to herself. And at the same time, they live their lives in the gray shadows, blurring the lines between right and wrong just a little bit, never one to run away from a fight, and always ready to stir up trouble.

Sara Lance is bloody perfect. And Leonard Snart is falling for her because of that. Not because of some century old curse or a misguided sense of destiny. No. All that matters is the here and now. And here and now, he is Leonard Snart, robber of ATMs, an infamous criminal in Central City, and the one who gets the canary in the end.

* * *

 **A/N: I hope you liked it! :)**


End file.
